Don’t even think about getting your car modified without reading what Karl has to say about it...
If you’re a fan of reality TV, in amongst the cooking shows and cut-throat competitions, you may have seen a show devoted to plastic surgery. No, not Keeping Up With The Kardashians, although body modifications certainly feature prominently. Rather, it’s devoted to fixing up plastic surgery. It’s called Botched, and its premise is to bring in people who have been, as the name suggests, botched, bungled and/or butchered.
It makes for ugly viewing, which makes you wonder why people subject themselves to such torture in the first place. As the saying goes, “be happy in the skin you’re in.” You can understand a nip here and a tuck there – slight enhancements that make things a bit better looking. But when people go over the top, you hold your head in your hands and just ask “why?”
The same goes for cars, really. Manufacturers spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to style their creations, with designers spending hundreds, if not thousands, of hours sketching, re-sketching and modelling prototypes to make them as appealing as possible (though in Ssangyong’s case, it’s arguable that the design team is on permanent sabbatical). Sure, there are some trim grades that look better than others, but call me old fashioned because it seems how cars come from the factory is often the best.
Look at the trends that have come and gone over the years. Hellaflush, carbon vinyl wraps, sticker-bombing, extreme camber, tin-can exhaust tips, and the list keeps going. When was the last time you saw a manufacturer release a car with a sticker-bombed front bumper? It’s a fashion trend and nothing more. People move on. Well, most people.
There are some companies that specialise in modifications, with certain ones doing it better than others. Techart, for example, takes Porsches and enhances them. Subtle changes to body kits, tuning to the motor and re-trimming of the interior. I drove the GTstreet RS a few years ago and it was an absolute weapon. But I can’t forgive the stupidly tall rear wing. The standard factory spoiler is far better on the eye.
Then, there’s Mansory. This is a company that bids itself as being a luxury vehicle enhancer, but let’s be honest here – it’s a luxury vehicle destroyer. Just look at some classics over the years. There’s the Panamera with the Superman interior (Google it, you won’t be disappointed), the Rolls-Royce Ghost, resplendent in blue with gold stripes, the Bentley Continental convertible in bronze with carbon-fibre bonnet and the Bentayga with more creases than a Shar Pei puppy. More Ferraris, Bugattis and Lamborghinis have been ruined by Mansory than drivers who contribute to wreckedexotics.com.
The other thing is market value. Often the enhancements actually devalue a car, or at the very least will cause those who have modified their car to lose money, as they will never recoup what they have spent. So, rather than changing wheels, leave the originals on. Keep your car in good nick and keep it serviced regularly – it’ll hold its value a lot longer.
If you want a sports car, don’t put a loud exhaust on your Corolla, save up until you can buy something decent. It takes a little self-control and financial discipline, but the cachet that comes with a high-end machine makes it worthwhile. Just do me a favour, once you’ve got it, don’t hand it to Mansory...
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