For many years now, I’ve had a vision of my perfect everyday machine. It should be simple, with very few electronics – so as not to form a barrier of silicon between man and machine. Similarly, the gauges should be analogue and clear. It should have three-pedals, and a manual gearbox with short throws that I should feel compelled to row for no apparent reason on a regular basis. The transmission should transmit power to the rear wheels, which must succumb to being overwhelmed at a moment’s notice.
It finally dawned on me recently that they stopped making such a machine somewhere around 1987. Never mind I thought, I’ll simply step back in time and drive something that was conceived two decades ago. But the air conditioning is temperamental – and, frankly, so is the rest of the bloody machine! When it’s good, it’s very very good – but such a reward is reserved for very rare moments. So, on a daily basis, I drive an automatic Fortuner instead. An automatic because if I continued to drive a manual from 20 years ago everyday, my left leg would become the size of an ape – and that would just be odd! But, as slush boxes go, the one in the Fortuner is as slushy as the come. And I don’t mean that as a compliment. But what’s worse is that the Fortuner has a ladder frame – and that’s engineering which dates back to the 1820s.
But, then, for this issue, I spent a couple of days with the new Audi TT. And the AC actually worked. The gearbox is a double-clutch unit that actually knew which gear I was going to select before I did. The gauges are not analogue, but they are the most incredible I’ve ever seen. It has lots and lots of electronics, but I still felt connected to the car. Mind you, not like I do in my 23-year-old machine – in which if I drive over a one Rupee coin I can tell if it’s a couple of pieces of corn or the heads of a bunch of lions that I’ve just trampled over. But it has the same effect when I drive over a pothole, and I’m no longer interested in measuring the depth of road irregularities via the compression of my spine. Needless to say, the TT has a beautiful ride. Power is sent to all four wheels, but mostly the front. But that’s fine too since the expense of replacing worn out rear tyres is such that I’ve had to stop paying my insurance premiums off late.
So, it seems, I’m an analogue animal slowly evolving – being thrust towards the 21st century kicking and screaming. I may still be moved by the hydraulics of yesteryear, but progress waits for no one – so I better climb aboard or be left behind. Guiding me in the right direction in the TT was its virtual cockpit – the highlight of which is a 12.3-inch TFT screen in place of a traditional instrument cluster. The difference is as stark as switching from a black and white screen to an OLED display.
And so I think I’ve finally seen the light – and it’s in 4k, in Ultra HD…
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